Just married but still thinking about someone else?

About one year ago, I had unexpectedly met a woman who I fell absolutely head over heels crazy in love with. She was literally my ideal woman & the woman of my dreams since I was a boy. She entered my life right when I had just proposed to my girlfriend of 10 years (college sweetheart). I followed my heart since I knew we only had this one life to live & I pursued the other woman. Within the course of a year,we became close & developed an emotional affair so it was never about sex. Meanwhile, I witnessed my now "fiance" plan our wedding. Anyway, fastforward one year later, as torn as I was, I knew I had to make a decision; my long-time girlfriend who was no longer meeting all of my needs or the woman of my dreams who fulfilled me. I chose my fiance. I felt socially & personally obligated to marry her especially since she had already been part of me & my family's lives for over a decade. So I married her one month ago. Despite having ended all contact with the woman of my dreams, I still think about her every minute of everyday, & I miss her dearly. I wonder how she's doing & if she still thinks about me. It's taking everything in me not to pick up the phone & call her but I want to give my now wife a fighting chance that she deserves. Its the least that I can do considering I wasn't man enough to be honest with her. I don't know how long I'll live with myself & all the "what could've, would've, should've been" thoughts. I'm not proud about any of this. I guess I'm not asking a question but I'm venting to anyone who cares to reply. Best wishes to you all & thanks for reading.